If you want to know whether you’re forcing your relationship or you’re in love, take this romance quiz. It exposes if you’re in a disengaged bond or not.
Are You in Love or Just Forcing It?
If you’re carrying on a relationship despite red flags, lack of compatibility, and absence of romantic chemistry, you are forcing love. However, if you’ve made a conscious effort to build trust and affection with someone you’re attracted to, you are in love.
A forced relationship refers to a toxic connection where one person involved is clearly uninterested in sustaining the relationship or emotionally unavailable.
In many cases, a disengaged relationship arises from attachment traumas. In such a situation, one party enforces commitment upon the other despite an apparent lack of interest.
Signs You Are Forcing Your Relationship
You can generally recognize a forced relationship when you experience constant fear of separation, harbor feelings of resentment that you choose to ignore, avoid conflicts due to potential consequences, and no longer feel physically attracted to your partner.
The following are the most common signs of disengaged romance (source):
- You have a fear of abandonment.
- You are rushing commitment.
- You feel indecisive and resentful.
- You are trying to change each other.
- You’re simply not happy in your relationship.
- You argue too much (or avoid any arguments).
Why Do You Force Love?
According to Alan Robarge, an Attachment Trauma Therapist, relationships are often forced when there is a fear of being alone. The act of trying to make someone love you is an attempt to prove your own worthiness of love. It involves seeking romantic validation regardless of the cost.
You ignore red flags and willingly step into a codependent relationship because letting go would bring out your doubts, insecurities, and unwanted emotions.
How to Stop Forcing Relationships
To prevent forced relationships in your life, understand your attachment style. Care for the emotional wounds that are pushing you to continue toxic bonds. And most importantly, know your worth—even in the absence of validation.
Take these steps:
- Be honest about your feelings. Take some time to review your thoughts about your partner and write down your genuine emotions.
- Discuss your emotions with your partner. See if they’re willing to listen and act.
- Try couples therapy. If you’re both willing to change for the better, then none of you will feel forced into the relationship.
- Stop rushing commitment. Loyalty forms through mutual trust. Instead of rushing it, build the base for it by getting to know each other.
When Is the Time to Let Go of a Relationship?
In love, but it’s not working? You should let go of a relationship when one or both partners are unwilling to address the problems within the relationship. However, if both partners are committed to personal growth and positive change, there is hope to build a reliable, long-term relationship.
Take a Love Quiz to See If You’re Forcing It to Work
To determine whether you’re forcing your relationship or experiencing true love, consider taking this romance quiz. With 20 questions, the quiz can provide valuable insights into your compatibility with your partner.
It’s also a good idea to ask your partner to take this test so that you’re both open about your emotions. (Don’t force them to do so, though.)
How to Play?
Playing personality quizzes is straightforward: Choose the option that’s true about you—or you relate to—and select “Next.” Unlike trivia quizzes, personality tests have no right or wrong answers. But the questions are in forced-choice format. The point is to push you to choose an option that makes the most sense, not the one that’s 100% true. For the most accurate results, don’t overthink your responses. Go with options that you “feel” are the best.
Questions of the quiz
- 1Why do you want to be in this relationship?
It brings out the best in me
I’m afraid of being lonely
I have no other options
- 2Would you say you understand your partner?
Yes, we have a mutual understanding
I do, but they don’t get me
No, I don’t get my partner anymore
- 3Is your partner emotionally available?
Yes, we both are
No, they are not
They are, but I’m not
- 4Does your lover actively listen to you?
Yes, we’re both good listeners
No, but I’m always there for them
Kind of, but I don’t talk to them that much
- 5How compatible are you?
Quite compatible
Not compatible at all
My partner insists that we’re compatible. But I don’t think so
- 6How often do you argue?
Rarely
All the time
I’ve been avoiding arguments lately
- 7Which one describes your arguments?
Constructive
Aggressive
Pointless and repetitive
- 8Have you tried to break up with your partner? What happened?
No, I haven’t tried to break up
Yes, I asked them to come back to me
Yes, but my partner forced me back into the relationship
- 9How do you feel when your partner is not around?
Fine (I miss them, though)
Anxious
Happy (I need some me-time)
- 10Do you trust your partner?
Yes, of course
Yes, but they don’t trust me
No, but they say they trust me
- 11What’s jealousy to you?
Lack of trust
A natural part of love
A toxic emotion rooted in insecurity
- 12How do you react to red flags?
I take them seriously
I often ignore them
I’ve seen so many that I’m numb to them
- 13Do you lie to your lover just to keep them in the relationship?
No, never
Yes, I do
No, but they lie to me
- 14Have you cheated on your partner?
No, never
No, but they have
Yes, but I regret it
- 15Are you physically attracted to your partner?
Yes, very much
I’m not sure
No, but they won’t accept it
- 16Can you communicate your needs in this relationship?
Yes, my partner is an excellent listener
No, but I like it this way
No, but I feel like I have to deal with it
- 17What part of separation gives you anxiety?
Being lonely or letting go of someone you once loved
Everything about it gives me anxiety
IDK. I actually want to separate my way with my partner
- 18How long do your relationships often last?
They’re usually long-term
I’m a master of short-term relationship
IDK. I’ve been in so many relationships
- 19What was the gap between your last relationship and your current one?
A year (or longer)
Three months (or less)
Four to eleven months
- 20Final question: Do you genuinely believe that your partner loves you?
Yes, I do
Not really
I do, but I don’t love them anymore
