100% Helpful Quiz: Why Do We Argue So Much?

This quiz will help you find a helpful answer to “Why do we argue so much?” You’re not the only couple who’s bickering. Answer 20 simple questions to reveal.

Why Do We Argue So Much

Why Do We Argue So Much as a Couple?

Absurd arguments in relationships are mostly a result of unfair criticism, disrespectful comments, lack of communication, and overreaction without reflection. Basically, you enter an argument cycle because you can’t criticize, respect, and understand each other.

The table shows common reasons why US couples argue, according to a YouGovAmerica survey.

Argument Reasons Commonness
The tone of voice or attitude 39%
Money 28%
Communication styles 26%
Household chores 21%
Relationships with immediate and extended family 20%
Quality time spent together 17%
Life decisions 15%
Health or lifestyle decisions 13%


Is It Bad That You Fight with Your Partner?

Bickering or arguing with your partner is not necessarily bad. As Jordan Peterson, a regarded psychologist, states, “A real relationship is a wrestling match that you both emerge and transform from.” But a cycle of toxic conflicts might damage your relationship.

This Quiz Reveals the Reason You’re Bickering

Whether they start over petty matters or critical issues, arguments erode your love. They make you wonder, “Am I happy in my relationship?”

But the quiz on this page could end the confusion. It’s a series of couples counseling-inspired questions to root out the causes of your disagreements, helping you repair them.

The 4 Main Causes of Argument Cycles

World-renowned psychotherapist, Esther Perel, believes that couples’ arguments have three categories: Power and control, closeness and care, and respect and recognition.

She suggests that most partners fail to stop fighting because they attack, blame, and defend without attending, appreciating, and acknowledging.

The following are the whys behind your endless disputes.

1.    You criticize personality, not actions.

If you constantly condemn your lover’s personality instead of their actions, you’ll create an argument cycle—that’s unlikely to end.

Try “I” statements in your complaints. Rather than “You are an ignorant person,” say, “I’d love you to show more affection.”

2.   You don’t respect each other.

Mean, or hateful comments leave unrecoverable emotional or psychological wounds. If you want your arguments to end, ditch them.

Not only isn’t disrespectfulness going to help you, but it will also decrease the romance in your relationship. No one wants to spend time or sleep with the person who breaks your heart when mad.

Whatever you do, don’t insult your lover.

3.   You blindly defend yourself and avoid listening.

Sometimes, you must step back and ask yourself, “why am I so defensive?” Many arguments seem eternal simply because you’re too concerned with proving your innocence.

Defensiveness complicates listening to your partner. It puts you in a situation where you deny before understanding and protest without empathy.

To end the argument cycle, let your guard down.

4.  You don’t react or respond.

Stonewalling is ignoring the arguments to demonstrate you’ve had enough. But silence treatment has proven to be a toxic communication style. It gradually separates you and your partner, leaving you with no common concern to talk about.

No matter how challenging, talk to your spouse or lover. Let them know that you care.

How to Stop Arguing So Much?

Express your primary emotion, respect your partner while arguing, be open about your needs, and ensure you come to an agreement. That’s how you can stop arguing over the same topics.

It also helps to ask yourself, “What do I want?” and make it broader by thinking, “What do we want?”

If you’re in a relationship where your partner refuses to reflect on their actions and acknowledge their responsibility, try couples therapy or counseling.

Remember, arguments happen between two people. And it’s not one person’s job to fix them. It takes two.

Take the Test for More

Now you’re ready to find out why you argue so much. The current test examines the 20 common reasons couples fight to analyze your relationship.

To make the results as helpful as possible, we’ve also included expert advice.



“Why do we argue so much?” is an educational and entertaining quiz. It is not meant to replace clinical or expert assistance. Please, consider talking to a couple’s counselor before making any decisions or reacting to the results.

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