This 2023 Attachment Style Quiz helps determine if you have a secure attachment type in the relationship or if it’s anxious, avoidant, or fearful.
What is Attachment Style Quiz?
It’s a set of 20 psychological questions focusing on you and your caregiver’s relationship to identify if you have a secure or insecure (anxious or avoidant) style.
A recent study’s excerpt in Washington Post reveals that roughly 20% of the population have an anxious style, 25% avoidant, and 5% fearful. So, half of the population is insecure in terms of relating to others.
You could take a specific anxiety test to see if your fears affect your relationships. But it wouldn’t necessarily reveal if you are securely attached to your caregiver. Therefore, a detailed quiz is advised.
| Style | Demonstrated by |
| Secure | Having a positive view of self and others |
| Anxious-preoccupied | Having a negative view of self and a positive view of others |
| Dismissive-avoidant | Having a positive view of self and a negative view of others |
| Fearful-avoidant | Having an unstable or fluctuating view of self and others |
The Test Is Based on John Bowlby’s Theory
English psychologist John Bowlby coined the term attachment style, dividing it into three categories: secure, anxious, and avoidant. And the current test employs his theory.
Of course, the attachment theory has been developed throughout these years, and now, there are other subcategories, such as fearful, preoccupied, and dismissing. But the good news is that the quiz covers all of them.
3 Factors That Determine Your Adult Attachment Style
In one of his educational videos, Dr. Todd Grande suggests, “Attachment theory is mostly based on a child’s relationship with their mother. Now, this can also include other caregivers. But almost all the time when we see in the research literature, it’s specifically talking about the relationship with a mother.”
Although the primary factor, the mother-child relationship is not the only element in the identification of attachment types. Other dynamics include the person’s self-image as well as views on others.
Your relationship with your caregiver.
A parent-child relationship involving physical or emotional abuse, negligence, or overprotection can lead to insecure attachment styles.
One way to spot parental mistakes or abuses is by checking for trust issues. Insecure adults often find it challenging to depend on or believe in others. It’s a sign that their caregiver, the only person they trusted as a child, has betrayed them.
Your self-image.
Unlike a secure child, insecure individuals’ self-images vary. It could be an exaggerated, unrealistic, perfect picture of themselves—almost like that of a narcissist. Or it could be an overly downgrading, ambivalent, and self-sabotaging image.
Either way, an insecurely attached person’s idea of self contrasts with reality. So, their self-image could expose their attachment style.
Your views on others.
As a result of unhealthy attachment, an adult could form an avoidant personality, minimizing meaningful relationships. Or it could turn them into a clingy person who is overly needy. But whatever it is, the person’s views on others could reveal their style.
For example, a clingy individual might believe that others are better. An avoidant one may believe the opposite and consider themselves better than others.
The Attachment Quiz Reveals if You Are Secure or Insecure
Identification of attachment styles is easier said than done. In theory, you might find it a straightforward process of the mother-child relationship. But in reality, it’s a much more complicated process.
The quiz helps you narrow down your emotions, figuring out what they expose about your childhood. It’s a much more convenient process than doing the whole thing on your own. All you need to do is answer basic questions about your experiences, thoughts, and feelings.
Here’s a sneak pick of the test results.
Secure
Where love and trust come easily, secure attachments form between a child and caregiver. Recent data shows that 50% of the world’s population is fortunate to have this attachment style. Of course, it is not to say that secure people live a struggle-free life. However, the rate of highly sensitive individuals is lower among them, and severe personality disorders are mostly absent.
Insecure
A child who has been manipulated, ignored, or abandoned by their parents will struggle with unhealthy attachment styles as adults.
When one’s type is insecure, they are either anxious or avoidant. However, they might also fall into one of the preoccupied, dismissing, or fearful categories.
- Preoccupied:
Anxious-preoccupied is a type of attachment that causes low self-esteem and downgraded self-image. Individuals with this style might think highly of others while having no respect for themselves. A preoccupied person often becomes a people-pleaser or undergoes the fear of abandonment in relationships.
- Dismissing:
A dismissive-avoidant person thinks highly of themselves but downgrades others. They might feel entitled and discriminate against specific groups.
- Fearful:
A common trait among fearful-avoidant persons is a victim mentality. Such people have negative views both of themselves and others. So, they struggle with intimacy and trust, avoiding any meaningful relationship that could potentially hurt them.
The Influence of Attachment Styles on Romantic Relationships
For many couples, the attachment quiz functions like a compatibility test; it helps them figure out how their childhood experiences affect their adulthood relationships.
According to the attachment theory, your sense of trust, the basis of a relationship, forms when you are a child. So, you can’t ignore its effect on your love life.
Help Guide demonstrates the effect of attachment types on a romantic partner with an example: “Someone with a secure style may be able to share their feelings openly and seek support when faced with relationship problems.”
Why You Should Take This Quiz
In one of his educational videos on mental health, Dr. Todd Grande suggests that specific personality disorders such as sociopathy might be linked to a person’s relationship with their caregiver. So, knowing your attachment style is a mental health checkup to see if you’re likely to have a disorder.
Moreover, the test lets you become mindful of your triggers and emotions. The idea is that your style can change over time—and you can heal from any emotional damage from your childhood. But recognizing the problems is the first step to recovering and changing for the better.
What if the Test Said You Are Insecure?
The chances of getting an insecure attachment type in your results are 50/50. It’s because half of the population struggles with unhealthy parent-child relationships while the other half doesn’t. But that shouldn’t scare you away.
Kati Morton, a certified clinical psychologist and therapist, offers four ways to cope with an insecure style and heal from it.
Work with a therapist.
“Luckily, there’s a ton that we can do about it,” says Kati Morton about healing from an insecure attachment. “My first recommendation would be to work with a therapist to process through any trauma or upset you’ve had in your past,” she adds. “We can heal from our past attachment. We just have to have someone that can be validating, that listens to us, and helps us learn how to self-soothe.”
Analyze your responses.
Kati Morton’s second tip is to pay attention to how you respond or react in relationships. She believes that noting things you would like to change or work on could be beneficial, too. “If we take time to be mindful and notice what behaviors we’re doing that aren’t beneficial to our relationships, we can actually start working on them,” she suggests.
Be mindful of your emotions.
You can use feeling charts or track where your emotions have come from to understand what you are trying to express. And then, you can get into describing the emotions. “We need to learn how to describe [our emotions] so that we can allow ourselves safely feel it,” says Kati.
Notice your triggers.
Kati believes, “We all have emotions that we are fine with and ones that we try to avoid. So, notice when you are feeling those that you’re trying to avoid, and bring these situations up in therapy so that you could work on emotion regulation techniques.”
Read Before Taking the Attachment Style Quiz
Be mindful of three facts:
- Your style might change, especially when you deliberately work on it.
- You could have a disorganized attachment style that is hard to recognize.
- An insecure style doesn’t mean you’re less than one with a secure style.
Please, don’t use the test results to discriminate against others or degrade yourself. This quiz aims to help you better understand your emotions. It should not be replaced with a clinical examination by a certified psychologist or therapist.
Disclaimer
QuizExpo is not associated with any of the names or organizations mentioned in the test.
How to Play?
Playing personality quizzes is straightforward: Choose the option that’s true about you—or you relate to—and select “Next.” Unlike trivia quizzes, personality tests have no right or wrong answers. But the questions are in forced-choice format. The point is to push you to choose an option that makes the most sense, not the one that’s 100% true. For the most accurate results, don’t overthink your responses. Go with options that you “feel” are the best.
Questions of the quiz
- 1Why do you want to know your style?
Because I care about my mental health
I am anxious about my style
I feel like I can't attach to anyone
I feel like no one loves me
None of the above
- 2Which one describes your relationship with your mother?
She has always loved me unconditionally
She only loved me when I was a good kid.
She has always ignored me
She always threatened to abandon me
I don't know her. (She wasn't there).
- 3How would your mother (or primary caregiver) react when you cried for childish reasons?
They'd soothe me
They'd force me to stop
They'd ignore me
They'd humiliate me
I don't know (or none of the above)
- 4Did you feel like you are the reason your parents fight?
No, my parents loved each other
Yes, I assumed it was my fault
Yes, they said I was the reason for their divorce
Yes, they both abandoned me. I still feel guilty.
I don't know much about my parents.
- 5How often were you afraid of your parents abandoning you?
Rarely or never
Often
I wasn't afraid because I got used to it.
Always. They never stopped threatening me.
I don't know. They were never there.
- 6As a child, did you think that your mother lies a lot, so you shouldn't trust her?
No. I've always trusted her.
Yes, but only small lies.
Yes, I felt like everything she says is a lie.
No, but she used to call me a liar.
I don't remember my mom.
- 7How would your mother (or caregiver) react when you expressed emotions like fear or anxiety?
They'd calm me down and help me handle it.
They'd ask me to be stronger and deal with it alone.
They'd dismiss my emotions and call them unnecessary.
They'd make me feel guilty for feeling anxious or sad.
I didn't have anyone to talk to about my emotions.
- 8How do you feel about your personality?
I am proud of who I am
I am a bit insecure about my personality
I think I have the best personality ever
I hate my personality—and everything else about me.
I don't know how I should feel about that.
- 9How do you feel about your looks?
I like my appearance.
I am insecure about my appearance.
I think I'm the most good-looking person I know.
I hate my appearance and feel ugly all the time.
I don't know how I should feel about that.
- 10How easy is it for you to trust others?
It's often pretty easy.
I'm usually nervous about trusting others.
It's almost impossible.
I don't trust anyone because I'm terrified of betrayal.
I don't even know.
- 11Which one sounds like the most challenging part of a relationship?
Finding the right person
Communication
Showing affection
Trust
All of them
- 12What do you think of love?
It's a beautiful feeling that everyone deserves
It's full of responsibilities and hardships
It's a lie that only the weak fall for
It's too risky for me.
I don't really know what it is
- 13Do you consider yourself a clingy or distant person?
Neither. I'm genuine and friendly.
I might be a bit distant. But it's not by choice.
I'm purposefully distant because I don't like people
I feel like I'm a bit clingy.
I don't know. I've always been on my own.
- 14Which one sounds like a reasonable opinion to have?
All persons are good until proven wicked.
Assuming most people are wicked is a kind of self-protection
All persons are wicked until proven otherwise
I'm not a good person, and everyone should know this
Everyone, including me, is wicked. Period.
- 15How do you feel about your mom?
I love her more than anything in life
I just want her to love me back
I think I don't need her.
I hate her because she hates me.
I've never had one. So, IDK.
- 16Which one describes your loneliness better?
I don't think I'm lonely.
I feel like no one gets me.
My loneliness is by choice. No one deserves me.
I feel like I don't deserve anyone's love. That's why I'm alone.
IDK. I've always been on my own since I was a baby.
- 17Are your relationships long-lasting? If not, what's the reason?
Yes, they are long-lasting.
No. I often break up with my partners.
No, I prefer short-term, casual ones.
No, I often get dumped after a while
I've never been with anybody in my entire life.
- 18"My parents love me unconditionally." Do you agree with that?
Yes, I do.
Not really
I'd say they hate me unconditionally
No, my parents only loved me if I was an obedient kid
I've never had real parents.
- 19Do you believe that you deserve to be loved and cared for?
Yes, everyone deserves that
I'm not sure about that.
I do. But no one deserves to have my love.
No, I don't deserve anyone's love
I don't believe in love. So, no.
- 20Final question; how easy is it for you to show affection to others?
Pretty easy
Slightly difficult
Pretty challenging
Slightly challenging
I have no affection for others
