Conflict Style Quiz. Find Your Style 100% Accurately

What is your conflict style? This anger quiz reveals if you’re a competitor, collaborator, accommodator, or avoider.

What Is the Relationship Conflict Style Quiz?

Inspired by the TKI Modes, the Conflict Style Quiz is an argument-style inventory. It determines which quarrel-handling type you have in romantic relationships. The test has five possible results: Accommodating, Avoiding, Collaborating, Compromising, and Competing.

Conflict Style	Argument Priority
Avoider	Wants to end the argument
Accommodator	Wants to please their partner
Collaborator	Seeks collaborative, long-term solutions
Competitor	Prioritizes winning the argument
Compromiser	Values coming to terms

 

TKI, also known as Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, is a multilevel dispute assessment. With this test, participants get to see how they manage their anger and solve problems.

The current adaptation, however, uses TKI to expose conflict styles in relationships. Similar to the communication style test, it analyzes your responses to disagreements to decide if you’re a competitor, collaborator, compromiser, accommodator, or avoider.

What Are the Five Conflict Styles?

 

According to the TKI Mode, the five conflict styles are Accommodating, Avoiding, Compromising, Collaborating, and Competing. These types are categorized based on their assertiveness (self-centered attitude) and cooperativeness (altruistic behavior).

Here’s what each style signifies:

• Accommodating is prioritizing your partner’s needs.
• Avoiding is ignoring or escaping the argument.
• Competing is prioritizing your needs.
• Collaborating is looking for a genuine win-win solution.
• Compromising is meeting halfway.

How to Determine What Your Conflict Style Is?

To find out what conflict style you have, determine your anger type, review your thought process during arguments, and ask for your partner’s comment on your conclusion.

If you become self-centered when you’re mad, your style is the competitor. If you want to work together and seek long-term solutions, you’re a collaborator. If you value 50-50 equal solutions, you’re a compromiser, and if you prioritize pleasing your partner, you’re an accommodator. But if you escape arguments, you’re an avoider.

How to Better Your Conflict-Handling Type?

Dr. Ralph Kilmann, TKI Modes’ coauthor, says the first step to better your argument management is self-awareness. You must find out which style you use more often and why. The next step, he says, is practice. You should practice responding to disagreements with different approaches to enhance your emotional muscles.

Taking the Conflict Style Quiz could be your first step toward improving your anger reactions. You can also try the Multidimensional Anger Issue Test to learn more about your rage.

Take This TKI Quiz to Find Your Conflict Mode

Do you ask yourself, “Why do we argue so much?” If yes, don’t hesitate to take the Conflict Style Test because it has the answer. Most couples can’t stop arguing simply because they have incompatible argument-handling types.

Knowing your style helps to root relationship issues properly and solve them without unnecessary drama.

Hit the start button, answer 20 relationship questions, and discover your conflict style now.

Disclaimer

Although inspired by the TKI Mode, the Conflict Style Quiz is an independent personality test and intends no copyright infringement. The Myers Briggs Company owns the right to the mentioned argument style inventory.

Questions of the quiz

• 1
  How do arguments make you feel?
  

  • Nervous

  • Distracted

  • Sad

  • Irritated

  • Scared

• 2
  What should your partner do to help resolve a conflict?
  

  • Tell me what they want

  • Agree to meet halfway

  • Word their needs and hear out mine

  • Listen to what I say and cooperate

  • Stop the argument when I ask them to

• 3
  What do you do when you’re mad at your partner?
  

  • I try to resolve it without bothering them

  • I wait for the right moment to bring it up

  • I talk to them about my feelings

  • I often flip out and start an argument

  • I hide my anger because I want no conflicts

• 4
  What do you do when they (your lover) are mad at you?
  

  • I do what they want to calm them down

  • I offer a few solutions and let them pick one

  • I give them enough space so they can talk about it

  • It usually irritates me, and I ask them to stop

  • I leave and come back when they’re calm

• 5
  What kind of solutions are you a fan of?
  

  • Easy and quick

  • Equal and logical

  • Long-lasting and well-thought

  • I like solutions that prioritize my needs

  • I like whatever solution that will end the conflict

• 6
  What are your thoughts on apologies?
  

  • I always apologize even when it’s not my fault

  • I like them, but I don’t need them

  • I think it’s a nice little step toward solving conflicts

  • I don’t like apologies because they’re useless

  • I will apologize if it calms my partner down

• 7
  Which one better describes your anger?
  

  • Passive and hidden

  • Usually moderate

  • Always moderate and manageable

  • Aggressive and unmanageable

  • I don’t get mad at all

• 8
  Do you know what you need or want out of a conflict?
  

  • I usually don’t.

  • I usually do.

  • Yes, but I’d rather hear my partner’s needs too.

  • Yes, I know what I want, and I’ll get it.

  • No, I never know what’s the point of our arguments.

• 9
  Sometimes, you just need to say “okay” to end a conflict.
  

  • Yes, I agree with that

  • Maybe, I’m not sure

  • No, you don’t have to do that

  • No, I will never do that

  • Yes, that’s how I solve all arguments

• 10
  What’s the worst thing your partner could do during an argument?
  

  • Refuse to tell me what they want

  • Refuse to accept my apology

  • Refuse to collaborate

  • Refuse to do what I want them to do

  • Refuse to end the argument

• 11
  How do you react when your partner apologizes?
  

  • I tell them they don’t need to

  • I apologize to

  • It depends on so many different things

  • I tell them I want actions, not words

  • I accept the apology just to end the argument

• 12
  What kind of topics do you usually argue about?
  

  • Things I do that irritate my partner

  • Minor things that don’t matter that much

  • Important stuff that might affect our future

  • Lots of things. Anything can turn into an argument.

  • Pointless random things that I don’t even want to argue over

• 13
  You’re so angry that you can’t even talk. What do you do?
  

  • I just stop talking and let my partner speak

  • I ask my partner if it’s okay for me to leave for a while

  • I tell my partner that I need some time

  • I let it out and show my anger to my partner

  • I hide my anger and pretend it’s fine

• 14
  Would you say you’re good at anger management?
  

  • No. I can’t express it either

  • I think I am. But I’m not sure

  • Yes, I’m good at it

  • Not at all. I often burst into anger and lose it

  • Yes, but it’s because I hide it

• 15
  What type of anger do you have?
  

  • Passive (I don’t show my anger)

  • Petrified (My anger is often rooted in previous arguments)

  • Occasional (It depends on the situation)

  • Explosive or chronic (I suddenly flip out)

  • Passive-Aggressive (I express my anger indirectly)

• 16
  Which one sounds like your thought process in a conflict?
  

  • I have to calm my partner down

  • I can’t let this argument hurt my relationship

  • We both deserve to be heard

  • I can’t believe they’re doing this to me

  • It’s stupid. I didn’t sign for this nonsense

• 17
  What’s the scariest part of a conflict?
  

  • Hurting your loved one

  • Not being able to solve it quickly

  • Letting it affect your feelings for each other

  • Letting it turn you into a giver who receives nothing

  • Everything about conflicts is scary

• 18
  Which of the following traits is best for conflict resolution?
  

  • Adaptation

  • Rationality

  • Commitment

  • Compliance

  • Emotional intelligence

• 19
  How soon after an argument are you ready to discuss it?
  

  • Whenever my partner is ready

  • A few hours after it

  • When both of us are ready

  • Right after the argument

  • I need a lot of time to recover

• 20
  Final question: Which one is your priority in an argument?
  

  • Helping my partner

  • Saving my relationship

  • Solving the issue

  • Getting what I want

  • Ending the argument